TRIP TO MALACCA

“Selamat Hari Raya” to all my Muslim friends and readers. Thinking yesterday was the first day of Raya, I actually sent out all the raya wishes by sms yesterday only to realize later part of the evening it was today.. hehe… a blunder I made.. Must be the long holidays coming all at once.! (smiles)

Anyway, last week my friend called and asked me how about planning a trip to Cameron or Malacca. Knowing my family, I told him I don’t mind a day trip with no overnights. With much hesitation and disappointment he agreed.

I know Suresh 3 years ago through my friend Anita. Well since it’s been a long time since the 3 of us got together, so we decided to take a drive down on Raya day. I’m sure many are already asking how did I manage my parents, Right? Hehehe. I think I’m beginning to be a good mind reader now. Hehe. Anyway I simply told my mother I’m going to Malacca with 3 other girls who are Shobana, Tanu and Anita. Being a mother, my mum caused a big drama in my house the night before to discourage me from going but somehow I managed to still go.

I got ready by 6.15am and made my brother drop me in the commuter station so I can hop into the 6.35am train. I reached KLSentral by 7.15am. On my way Suresh called me and told me he’ll pick me up from KLSentral. About 8.15, Suresh came with Anita, and we went to Naga’s (an Indian restaurant in Brickfields) for breakfast. I hardly kept track on what time we left but all I know is that by 10.45am we were already walking on the streets of Malacca.

Overall the trip was good. For the first time I managed to blend my two personalities together. I would say it went a little mad because Anita mentioned the name of my ex-boyfriend which brought back both fond and haunted memories. I was home by 8.30. Before sending me home we stopped again in Naga’s for a drink.

As I mention, I had lots of unforgettable memories in this trip. The chats we had, the little flirting I did, will definitely be a memory in my head. There were a few things that happened on our way back. The annoying childish argument I had with Suresh and also the little flirting I did in order to patch things up after that are definately small memories in me. I just hope my harmless flirting with him had not offended him in any way.

Anyway when I reached home, I had a good bath and while lying on my bed I started to ponder on my day. I came to realize how much I have missed having a good clean fun. I should do this more often but already can foresee my mum's reaction to it all. Yet end of the day what counts most is that I had a great time and just hope my friends enjoyed my company as well.

DEEPAVALI

So it’s Deepavali today! Happy Deepavali to all friends and readers who are celebrating. I visited a lot of houses today. Went to Pravina’s house this morning. Then went to Prema’s house, Uncle Baldev’s place, Ranita’s and also Uncle Salam’s. There goes my diet. Was on heavy diet during the Puasa month and managed to loose 4kg. Just so sad that now I got to start from square one. Geezzzzzzzzzzz……

Dual Personalities

A few weeks ago, I had been cornered by a chatter friend who said she was intrigued by my dual personality life. I was very annoyed with her in the beginning but started reassessing my life when I was questioned about the same thing by a few others. Am I really leading two personalities or more!? I seriously wonder……

I come from a very Indian orthodox Christian family. My mother flares in anger with words like love marriage, boyfriend and dating. She’s more into cast, arranged marriage and very typical in her way of thinking. Her mindset can’t be applied in this modern era but she can’t be changed. She thinks having a cup of coffee with a guy friend is a sin. For this reason I portray innocent in front of my parents.

Who am I really? Will people learn to accept me if I were to be my true self? I think many won’t. I’m actually this not so innocent girl but very shy in front of certain crowd. I can’t be my open self in front of people for I’m crowded with more the typical type of people. I’m afraid I’ll have many jaws fall open wide! What I can do is I can try but not sure how to blend my wild open side to my homely traditional side. I just hope my future with my guy would be an open one.

I pray daily that I may find someone who would accept me the way I am and rescue me from this cubical I shut myself in due to respect of traditions and religion. Only time can answer my prayers…..

WATCH OUT WHAT U ADVICE

Friends, near and far have been giving me lots of comments about how I need to get whole of my life and crave for freedom to live the way I want to and not be bothered about what my parents think for a long time. Honestly speaking I care what my parents think because they are MY parents and not some outsider. Call me a ‘kolot’ or ‘kampung’ and I’ll just smile away. I don’t care what you think but just that you are not in my situation to tell me what you think of what I should do with my life. If u lived my life then perhaps you will know what’s happening to me. So for those who have not lived my life I suggest you just shut up or think before commenting! Sorry for being rude but at some point we have to draw the lines as to it is very irritating and makes me feel even sad that at point my parents are looked as if they were some control freak. Well I’ll be honest that they are but they have reasons for it only I can understand.

MC and MOVIE

So today I took MC. Two days ago my bladdy Monitor died on me and we got to change the monitor. Since then my freaking Migrane got back to me. I've been telling my doctors I'm having migrane for the longest time but they kept denying it saying I'm just stressed or thinking too much. Today when I went for my check up and they say I'm having Migrane. I think I give better prescriptions of sickness....

Anyway, I came home about 8.45am after seeing the doc, had my bath, had a panadol and took the train to MIDVALLEY!. Yeah I had migrane but i was still able to catch two back to back movies in the theatre....

I watched MySUPERExGF and also CLICK. It was very hillarious. Somehow, I laughed and laughed and guess what, I'm home now at 6.45pm without a migrane. Whoever said laughter was the best medicine must have had bad bladdy migranes!!! :) Anyway it was a nice outing with my friend Jenny. Had fun meeting up with her.MC for a movie!!! heheheh hopefully no one sues me in the office for this! :)

MERDEKA DINNER

So every year my housing area has a gathering and celebrates a few occasions together. During Chinese New year, all the Chinese resident of my residence will jointly invite all the rest of the community to celebrate with them Chinese New Year at our Taman Club House. This is the same for Deepavali and Christmas. But for Merdeka and also New Year, every household in the Taman will contribute and give the dinner. So for this Merdeka, one family paid about RM50.00. It was nice, we had Satay, Mee Hoon, Tosai, Putumayam, Mutton, Chicken, wine and sausages, chicken wings, and a few others I never got a hold off because I ran back to layan my friend’s sms.

It was good though. Managed to disturb one baby who could not get enough of me and was crying while I was leaving home. He was damn cute….. Will I ever have a little rascal on my own someday? I wonder………………………………………………………….

So it's the school holidays again. Many people with children would be thinking what to do, where to go with their kids in order the kids get the holidays they deserve after striving very hard to work their butts off at studies!! For some playful kids, this holiday is just slightly better than the normal school days for they are the lazy, playful ones.Last weekend I spent the night at Cititel hotel. I spent it with my collegue (who lost her husband) and their 11 year old son. I'll say I'm close to the boy. So we checked in the hotel at about 5pm. Funny how I left the turning to the hotel car park and I had to make one big round passing Brickfields all over again. For those who wants to stay in Cititel, Midvalley, the catch to their parking lot is..... You pass the hotel lobby and then as you come down to head the road immediately turn to your left and that's the hotel parking.

I left my collegue at the lobby and took her 11 year old to park the car. Well thank GOD we found a car park. And then we checked in the hotel. Had a short nap. At 8.00pm we left for the food court and had mixed rice plus ice-kacang. Damn was I stuffed. I booked a 9.30 show for "Over the hedge". It was a very good children movie I would say. I truly enjoyed it with the boy while his mother just dozed off at the theatre. I can't blame her because she was tired due to the medication she took.Movie was over by 11.00 and we got back to the hotel.

Next day we went for breakfast at 8.30am. We had breakfast at the hotel. Stuffed ourselves again and then waited for my other collegue to join us with her daughter, neice and nephew. They reached about 10am. We then walked to the GSC to watch "Poseidon" 11am show. Its just sad how one hero had to die end of that show... I loved the HERO though!. The guy who acted in SWEET HOME ALABAMA.... damn he is so cute especially HIS SMILE!!!!. WOW!!!!. Anyway you wanna know who died.... go watch the movie. It's worth watching...

The trip all ended very fast. After the movie I moved home straight. Reached home by 3.00pm and slept off till about 6.30pm. I enjoyed every single moment with the boy. He was indeed happy and I'm glad at least I made him smile and made his day.....

BLACK TUESDAY

Tuesday to Thursday (21st November – 23rd November), I was sent for a course. This is called a mandatory course where one needs to sit for some papers in order to be considered for a future promotion. Somehow I got my parent’s permission to stay out during this duration of course and surprisingly they agreed. Tuesday morning I was feeling very uneasy. Surprisingly I was not hungry. I just felt really gloomy and down. I thought perhaps I’d be hungry during lunch but yet another surprise, I was not. No breakfast and no lunch and I still felt very full and restless.

Just as I was reassessing myself as to what could have triggered my weird feeling for the day suddenly I received a call from my office mate Janagi. Janagi asked me if I heard from my ex colleague Devi from morning and I said No! Asking her further about why is Jan suddenly looking for Devi, Jan just paused and said “Cat…..”. My immediate reaction was “NO!!!” and Jan replied ‘YES’. I was speechless for one minute and I could hear tears in Jan’s voice. I asked how and she replied she was not sure but all she knew was that Devi fainted and was left unconscious. To verify things I called Devi’s hand phone and it was picked by her sister in law and she told me the news that my good friend and ex colleague had passed. I just could not believe the news. I have blog’d a few months ago about the passing of her husband, Uncle S and I’ve also mentioned about spending the school holidays with her and her 11 year old son and our stay in Cititel. I just can’t believe it. She called me the day earlier and told me she won’t be at office saying she’s going to the court to get the hearing of her husband’s LA. Her husband did not leave a will and that was what the court hearing was about. She went to the courthouse with her lawyer and her 11 year old boy. Her lawyer dropped her and her son at the entrance of the courthouse and went to park his car. When he arrived Devi was unconscious, she fainted and just fell and lost a lot of blood. She passed on her way to the hospital. Friends assumed she must have had some heart problems as she’s been having breathing difficulties for the longest time. Her son also said that she vomited blood a few days earlier but she just warned him not to tell anyone.

From the time of her husband’s death she kept telling daily that she can’t live without her husband and how she wants to go to where he has gone. Just never knew it would really happen so soon. I went to her house that evening. I arrived at 5.30 but the body had not arrived. The son looked very quiet and calm. I was not sure how to console him. Her mother still alive was crying at one corner. The whole situation got worst when the body arrived at 7.30pm. I could not bear to see her lying there. Memories of how we use to talk all came back. I left her place at 8.30pm. I just could not take it. The funeral took place the next day at 2pm. I was at my course and just could not go for the funeral. I felt really bad. Whenever she use to tell her about her death, at times when I get annoyed I’d reply her saying “ don’t worry if anything were to happen to you I’d take a day off and be there by your side”. I wish I could tell her sorry for I can’t make it. I could not sleep the whole night thinking of her and her kid. Things got worst when I heard that her son was adopted. I never knew this till now. I’ve got so many things to ask Devi but she’s no longer here.

I was told not to grieve too much for a death or they will not rest in peace. I don’t grieve but the memories are just something that will live in me. I will miss her. I just pray and hope everything will be fine with her adopted son.

BLACK SATURDAY

THis past 3 weeks I've been constantly making visits to this one particular Hospital to visit my friend's husband who was admitted in the ICU. Sadly Uncle did not survive. He passed on Saturday the 8th. Weird how so many deaths took place on this day. Two other collegue and friend lost their father on the same day yet I felt most with the passing of Uncle S.
I knew uncle for almost 4 years now through his wife. His wife and I used to work together but now she's transferred to another place. He was a very nice, jovial, interesting man. I remember spending nights over their house and I always had fun with their 11 year old son, Kabi. I just love squishing the little one (smiles). Such a perfect family now torn apart with the word DEATH!

The last I stayed in their house was about few months ago and in the morning while uncle was sending me to the office he was advising me to get married early and not late like he and his wife did. He was going on and on about the effects of late marriage including not able to bear more children.... Those were actually his last spoken words to me.
Till today I can't accept the fact that he's gone. I remember his wife had a mild stroke in 2002. He was the pillar to her recovery. On of the things he did that actually moved me to tears even today was that, I was told unlce would climb up the Batu Caves steps with his knees and then when he reaches the top, he would break down and pray. He was indeed a loving man who cared so much for his family and it is for him that his wife now drives with speedy recovery from her stroke.

Doctors diagnosed uncle's death to be too much toxication but I have my serious doubts. When I tell people about my doubts they would say "if a man is fated to go, nothing can stop it!". They are right in a way but explanations must be acceptable. My deepest question would be how can a man with a stone in his bladder end in high toxication after his surgery? Question I can only ask but never get an answer too. I asked this very similar question when my ex passed 4 years ago.. At that point I asked.... how can a guy with wisdom tooth extraction diagnosed as a leukimia patient when he was a Doctor himself and he didn't know!!!!? Life is just so unfair! My heart aches each time I see people in their 80 's still living strong while God punishes the good and younger ones!

No matter what my anger is, I can't bring the dead back to life! I looked really stupid trying to console uncle's wife telling her to be strong always for I know her pain is something no one can comfort except for the man she has lost. I speak this out of experiance and hence know the suffering of loosing the one you love and care and nothing anyone says will ever heal the broken heart.....................