Weird

“Some people come into our life and quickly go and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same after that”

That was the status statement updated in one of my friend’s facebook account recently and I so agree to it. This year has been challenging for me. I’ve somehow grown closer to a friend whom I only meet once a year and I’ve known him for 4 years now. I’d say that the friendship was good though we met less. After a good 4 years suddenly one sms that says “…………this is the beginning of the end” ends it all.

My God!? What did I do wrong!? It was truly a tsunami that hit my life without any warning. After 4 years he says I’ve been annoying and irritating. I sat and wondered… Yes I’ll admit that I’ve been irritating and a little annoying but it wasn’t done in a hurtful manner but more playfully and fun because he replies and encourages the smses!!! I believe he should have given me a warning so I’ll know what to expect and what was his tolerance level.

A mutual friend whom I got to know through my so called “ex friend” now, told me to just sit back and relax and just to let my “ex friend” go. Here begins my problem. I care too much for every friendship I get into that I take the blame for everything even though I know that it’s not my fault! How do I grow when one doesn’t tell me my weakness to improve? When a mistake made is not questioned, how will I know it’s a problem???

The some time the friends who do tell me my problems on the other hand do not consider the environment we are in. I’ve always told friends I’m sad with them through a sms or even corner them in person when they are alone in order for others not to look badly at me or this particular friend… Flaring in front of people is just not my style

I guess above all I just need to stop now. I’m not bothered of what others think of me already. If you can’t accept me the way I am then so be it! Accept or Leave. Time has come for me to stop caring for people. It’s not time to care for Myself!!! And so starts another name now for me!! PERASAN or SELFISHNESS……….. Damn! Life is just so unfair. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Long time

Hey there,

It's been truly some time since I last blogged. I'll try to get myself back in track in the next few days. SO many things been happening that words are just something I can't make out to express. So much to bear yet very little and tiny heart.... More to come in the next post......

Till then hope all is well and fine with you all...

God Bless