Help me let go

You came and taught me the game of love. With love you taught me that when there’s no pain there’s no gaining. Yet end of it all I had only pain and no gain. When you left, it shattered my heart. Questions, heavy left in my head. How am I to survive? Why does it hurt so badly? So many WHY"S in my head yet nothing has an answer. I try to hide my loneliness but there’s your voice in my head telling me how you wished you were there and you were the one next to me. If only you were still around I could have been a Mrs. or a mom by now. What hurts most is that I never had the chance to even say goodbye.

5 years now since you left. I’ve completed your destiny. I’ve fulfilled your wishes and dreams yet there’s one more left and I’m afraid I can’t and won’t be able to fulfill that last wish baby! I can’t think of anyone who can take your place or even come close to you.

Why is it so hard to get a genuine guy who can accept me for what I am? Lately all my friends are getting married one by one. I can’t help but feel sad for myself. It is already sad enough I don’t have a social life and now it’s getting worst that I don’t have someone to dump my sorrows too. Yes I have friends but I can’t talk to them about my feelings and hurt.

At this point I can’t stop my tears from flooding my cheeks. In my every tear I see you. In my every drop of tear, I see your dimple smile with your arms wide open that makes me wanting to run into your arms, hug you and to feel your soft kisses on my forehead. I remember your gentle touch and your ever moist lips just as clear as your hour of doom. There you lie motionless. Your body so cold. Oh I felt a knife piercing my soul. I’m alive but stuck as if I’ve been striked by lightning, too shocked to cry. Those final hours still give me a shiver each time I think about it. Yet again, in every tear there are fond memories as well.

Help me dear to show me that right person that would be fit enough to take your place. I don’t want this silence to hurt me greater dearie. It’s coming to 5 years and I can’t control my feelings and the promise that I’ve made to you baby. Help me to let go love. Help me. Oh I wish I could just have you standing in front of me for one last time. I seriously would just once want to feel your kiss and assuring hug. I just need that shoulder to just scream my heart out and pour our all my sourness and bitterness and sadness……

Help me let go love…………………………………….